Family planning.

We wanted to keep this hush hush, until we could announce the happy news. However things aren't going as planned, do they ever? So now I really just want a place to vent, and share our next journey on the STC ride and get support. Jason and I have decided to try for our last child! We would like to have this child before we get too far out of the baby stage with the trio, we don't want to have to start all over. I also plan to wait until the kids are in school before I start the nursing program, so it would be better to not wait too long. Plus we worry if the trio is much older than #4, he or she will feel left out of their clique. I knew very early that for me our family was not yet complete. When the triplets were still in the NICU I told Jason that I didn't feel done, and would like to do it all again. A triplet pregnancy is not exactly "normal," I spent my last 6 weeks of pregnancy in a hospital bed and then gave birth 9 weeks early, so I feel cheated out of 4 months of my pregnancy. Throw on top of that all the baby firsts and precious time we missed because they spent a month in the NICU. My vision of being a new mom and spending those first weeks with my children did not include CPAP's, isolettes, IV's, feeding tubes and nurses taking care of my babies. For 3 days all we could do was touch their tiny hands or feet through a small hole in their isolettes, once we could hold them it was only for one hour a day each. I would just like a do-over...not that that is my only reason for wanting another child but it is on my mind in a big way.

Most know it was hard for us to conceive the triplets, we have fertility challenges and had to jump through some hoops. We went through 6 IUI's (intrauterine inseminations) in total, after the first three failed we started taking 100mg of Clomid (or bitch pills as my husband so eloquently calls them...OK they do cause some moodiness LOL) to help boost our chances. When #5 didn't work we decided to try Clomid one more time, but we also went ahead and bought some injectable meds to move forward with if IUI #6 failed too. IUI number 6 actually did work, thank goodness, and we got pregnant with the triplets.

This time around we were really hopeful that if we followed the same protocol that we did for IUI #6 we would have success right away. We have now had 3 tries not work out so we are going to move on to the injectable meds that we bought before. My RE (reproductive specialist) is starting me out on the lowest dose and will follow me very closely with ultrasounds. I will be monitored every couple of days to do all we can to ensure we don't get high order multiples again, however there is a risk of that when taking fertility meds, it's a risk Jason and I have discussed and are willing to take.

We know 3 children is enough for many families, we know that taking fertility meds is not for everyone and we know that not everyone would choose to go down the path that we plan to. We hope to have the full support of our family and friends. I warn everyone now...if you have negative feelings or are feeling judgmental about our choice please keep it to yourself. I love my children, they are the reason I was born I am sure of it...I can't wait to welcome our new family member.
So here we go again...