Ever since it was spoken by the infamous Kate that parents of multiples are more likely to get divorced than parents of singletons, it's been an hot topic. In a recent study by MOSTonline.org, it was found that over 95% of the respondents (all parents of multiples), had marriages intact. However, I think we can all admit that the challenges of raising multiples can certainly present problems for a marriage that isn't ready for them. Today, we want to hear your opinions on the subject.
Do you think parents of multiples are more likely to become divorced? Why or why not?
Having a child is stressful, and it brings a whole nother set of issues and possible hiccups to a relationship. It's a big adjustment and it takes time to get good at co-parenting. Even if you are the rare couple that hashed out all your ideals and plans on parenting styles and what not before having kids...the unexpected or unplanned for can and probably will happen. Then you add another child or two at the same time, I could see the recipe for disaster.
What aspect of parenting multiples have you found to be the most difficult as it pertains to maintaining a relationship? There is not much down time with triplets, for either of us, there is always someone needing something...and usually another one or two waiting in line behind that one LOL. If one of us gets lazy the workload is huge on the one left doing it all, let's face it though, sometimes you just get tired and feel like you need to check out for a little while. Also it's hard to get out of the house for fun or necessities, even a simple grocery store trip is NOT simple, so shopping (and a lot of other "chores") often gets tossed on one person.
How do you maintain a healthy marriage/relationship? We try to be fair on the baby and house duties, we try to keep an upbeat roll with it attitude and we are truly happy with and love our family...that really helps. I can't believe how many stories we have each heard about people who hate going home, hate their spouse, wish they could spend more time at work or away from their family...that is just no way to go about things and it's sad.
If you were to give one piece of advice to a couple who just found out they were pregnant with multiples on how to stay happy together, what would it be? I remember being told by a fellow mom of multiples when I was pregnant that it is going to get hard, it is going to suck at times and you are going to take it out on each other, know that divorce is something that happens and be on the look out for problems. I told Jason this bit of advice so we were both well warned and tried to keep that in mind during those first 3-4 months when round the clock feedings would bring us to our breaking point. I also think to not sweat the small stuff is really important.
Do you think the MOST study is accurate? No, 95% seems really high to me..but if it is accurate good for us, not only are we super moms and dads but we are relationship geniuses too LOL.
3 comments:
This is so true. Although I think that having multiples pulls you together so I agree with the 95% MOST study.
great post!! sounds like you two are doing great!!! your triplets are gorgeous!!!
The work involved really is a lot - I don't know how a single parent with multiples would do it!
I agree with the 95%, too. I didn't put it in my post...I didn't even think of answering each question separately like you did!!! Maybe I'll "borrow" that next week!
The 95% seems high to me simply on the fact that the national divorce rate is 40-50%...and we only have a 5% divorce rate? Doesn't make sense at all.
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